So, what to do, you ask? Well first, we gotta realize a couple of hard-ass truths. The first one being that, Big Corpo ain’t gonna buy everyone. Which is what “everyone” falsely believes. I know a whole lotta dudes sittin’ around and waiting, right now, for the Big Corpo Buyout, and the resulting Big Cash Cow to come a-knockin’ at their doorstep. For a lot of these guys, they’re living in La-La Land. I mean, shit dude… look at Wal-Mart. Do they make a habit of buying out every Downtown USA? No…… they make a habit, mostly of quashing Downtown USA. That’s what Big Corpos do best: Blindly steamrolling over everything in thier path, in the incessant quest for “shareholder value”. Which basically means: Quash Cash. So: Our industry is not gonna be “bought out” lock, stock, and barrel, contrary to some real wishful thinkin’ goin’on out there right now. Most of us are Trampling Targets, not Takeover Targets. That’s truth #1.

Truth #2 is, in order to avoid The Big Corpo Quash… we’ve gotta get our shit in order. Big Corpo definitely has their shit together. That’s how they came to be “Big Corpo” in the first fucking place. They have a straightforward mission, and they stop at nothing to execute that mission. “Shareholder Value” is a pretty ruthless business, and it’s either Eat, or Be Eaten. Big Corpo understands this all too well. IASC does not. Indeed, as it sits today, I’d almost propose changing “IASC”’s name to “DINNER”. Because, that’s exactly what they’re gonna be if they don’t get it right, and get it right really fucking fast. Getting the “Bud Stratford Bastard Beatdown” is bad enough as it is, I’m sure. Being “extinct”, however, is a whole ‘nother matter altogether. That’s the eventuality that I’d really, really like to avoid. Unfortunately, that’s gonna require IASC’s cooperation. And, I sure as hell ain’t holdin’ my breath on that one.
So. How to go about it, then…? Well, my proposal is simple enough. It’s more than high time for another “IASC Gentleman’s Agreement”. A 2008 version, if you will. A ballsy move, you say? Yeah, sure it is. A lot of you guys will call me”cocky”, maybe even “arrogant”. What the fuck ever. The Fun Truth of the matter’s pretty simple, and it goes a little like this: You guys wrote the last Gentleman’s Agreement, and you largely blew it off. I’m writing this one… and of course, I presume that you’ll largely be blowing this one off, too. At the end of it, what does that all mean? It means: It makes Me at least as smart, and as important, as all of You, that’s what!!! Ha!

All kidding around aside… we do have a whole smorgasboard of fucked-up shit in The Industry that needs addressing, and needs addressing mighty quick. In some ways, I’ve never seen it so bad out there. And, it ain’t gonna be gettin’ better all by itself, I’m sure. So, let’s get on with it then.

1. Learn To Execute

That’s simple enough, I guess. Figure out how to get shit done. Saying that you’re thinking about it is one thing. Claiming that you’re gonna lift a finger to do it, is even better. But nothing… and, I mean “nothing” here, fellas… beats Getting It Done. “Less Talk, More Action”. Execute, by Whatever Means Necessary.

Truth is… and, this is largely what the last essay was about… if we’d all executed on that last “Gentleman’s Agreement”? We’d be an entirely different, more profitable industry, today. Likewise: Being an entirely different, more profitable industry tomorrow, is largely what this Gentleman’s Agreement is all about. Sure, ignore it if you’d like. But, you do so at your own peril.

2. Address Populist Causes First

IASCs biggest failure, is in garnering good will and support from the “rest” of the industry, as well as the rest of the skateboarding community. That’s why they have so many fucking critics, of course. So, how do we shut the critics up…? Go after stuff that even the critics can’t argue with. The whole “Go Skateboarding Day” was a good start… there’s not a lot of skaters that won’t go skateboarding on “Go Skateboarding Day”, since most skaters “Go Skateboarding” every day, anyway. The “Skatepark Initiative” was another great example of IASC engaging a “populist” cause… I mean, really… how many skaters are gonna say “Fuck You, Dudes! I don’t even want another skatepark in my town…!!!” Nobody? That’s right! But, the problem here is: Very Few Of Us Have Actually Seen This Wonderous “Skatepark Initiative”. Some of us have even asked for it, quite a few times. Still hasn’t materialized, though. And, it is very hard to support what I have yet to see.

Tell ya what: Once y’all smarten up, and put that damn thing Online…? You know, where it should have been the whole time, for anyone who needs to find it…?! Like, y’know… people and cities that wanna build skateparks and stuff? Let me know. Then, I’ll probably support it. Which leads me right to #3, and that is:

3. Learn To Embrace Your Critics

Michael Brooke told me a great one-liner once. Little did I know that he got it straight from The Godfather. It’s this one right here: “Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer”. That is really, really good advice, guys. Maybe y’outta do it more often than you do.

Here’s just one reason why. I know for a dead fact that, there’s a lot of pissed off IASC heads out there, that would probably much rather have me dead for some of the shit that I wrote about that “Under Fire” bullshit that you guys put out a couple years back. Well, wishing me dead is all good and well, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really amount to jack shit. However: Realizing that I began writing about that bleedin’ thing at least six months before it came out… now, that’s telling. That, is significant. That, was an opportunity that was sadly missed.

Here’s why: If anyone from IASC had had the nuts to drop me a line… maybe even, given me a buzz… and, actually ask what the fuck my goddamned problem was with all of this? Y’know what I woulda done?! Well: I would have told them…! I know, I know: What A Concept, Huh…? Go figure.

And, at the end of the day, you know what they could have done with this new found info? They could have edited the fucking Under Fire Initiative to duck my criticisms, and shut my ass up! That’s What! That, in hindsight, might have been very, very smart. But, they didn’t do it. Which, as we can all see in hindsight, was ultimately a very, very dumb thing to do. Wasn’t it, John Bernards…?

By forging ahead anyway… even in spite of already having some very, very vocal critics on this initiative… the only thing that you guys actually accomplished, is to turn the whole skateboarding world into a buncha very, very vocal IASC critics. Hey guys, do me a favor, will ya? Don’t ever, ever, ever be that stupid, ever again. Realize that, some of your very worst enemies, could very, very easily become some of your very best friends. Just by stopping you from doing some very, very idiotic crap. Harshing right along,we come to the next thing on our “To-Do Shit List”:

4. Get Rid Of Bernards.

While we’re making a few changes in how IASC does shit, we might as well go The Full Monty. Let me be the first to call for this asshole’s immediate resignation, removal… or, whatever.

Now, let me be clear on this point, just so that we have zero misunderstanding here: It Is Not Personal. I don’t even know the dude, that well. It’s a strictly professional problem that I have with John Bernards. Well: Several, actually. Let’s lay out the list, shall we?

First of all, the dude’s got Zero Credentials. For example: I have no idea whatsoever, if he’s ever actually skated in his whole god damned life or not. That’s bad enough. But, even worse: Even when you Google this f’n bloke, you don’t get shit for results. The only thing that I could ever find on the guy is that he’s the Executive Director of IASC (duh), and apparently, he’s some sort of expert on off shoring. Great! Two completely useless tidbits of info. And, this is from Google, no less! Doesn’t Google know everything these days?! Apparently, not when it comes to John Bernards, it doesn’t. I’m sorry guys, but I just don’t trust anyone that I can’t Google. Even worse: I can’t trust anyone that doesn’t have a resume, and didn’t really seem to exist before IASC came along.

Whoever holds the Executive Director’s position needs to, at the very least, have an air of transparency about them…

But, what’s more: I’d propose that being the ED of IASC, also sorta requires that you be a fairly friendly bloke. The kind of guy that can talk to people in a manner that, y’know… sorta makes the people being talked to actually enjoy the experience…? Bernards doesn’t talk to anyone; he talks down to people. He’s certainly done it to me, so I can vouch for that one firsthand. And mind you, this was way, waaaay before I ever started writing a single word about “the industry”. At the time, I was just “somen dude”, getting my journalistic start. I was “The Press”. But, in Bernards’ mind I guess, I was roughly equitable to a shit-soiled roll of toilet paper. The last people in the world that you wanna treat like TP is The Fucking Press. Bernards, if he knows nothing at all, outta know at least that much.

Likewise: We also need a guy that can effectively dialogue with all those Harsh Naysayers out there. Being fair minded, open-minded, inquisitive, curious… all traits that are also, noticably absent from Mr.Bernards. Bernards is aloof, stoic, impatient, and he sure as hell don’t wanna hear a peep of criticism from anyone… he makes that clear enough, for sure. And, this guy is the public spokesman, and the public face, of IASC…?! Well, it’s No Fucking Wonder that you guys don’t have many friends…!!!

The very last thing that IASC needs in it’s ED, is a sort of “IASC Bullshit Safety-Valve”. A Naysayer. A “No” Guy. A guy that will save IASC from themselves, if and when need be. Now, a lot of blokes will disagree with me on this one, and tell me that, that’s not really in the ED’s Job Description. Well, I say: Screw It. Put it in there, and put it in there quick, for pete’s sakes. Let’s Help IASC Help Themselves for a change. Squashing some of these horrible, horrible “initiatives” right from the get-go, wouldn’t be a bad idea. Oh, yeah: The guy who holds the ED job, also has to be Fair and Impartial, on top of all of this other stuff that I outlined above. Someone that has an equal stake in everyone’s best interests. It’s a very, very tall order, and frankly, Bernards really does not even begin to measure up.

So, who would? Well, if it were left up to me, I’d probably nominate Reggie Barnes. Of Eastern Skate Supply. No shit: I really would. The reason is simple enough: Reggie Barnes is basically everything that Bernards isn’t. And, vice versa. Reggie’s a super nice guy, for one. That North Carolina Southern Drawl he’s got implies a whole lotta “Southern Hospitality”…and, he can back that shit up, by being one of the genuinely nicest guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He’s a great listener, no matter who you are, or what your title may, or may not, be. He’s obviously got a resume, ‘cuz everyone that’s anyone knows who the hell Reggie Barnes is, what he does, and what he owns…and in many cases, some of us nerdier-types even remember his freestyle and street style pro-model years with Walker Skateboards.

But, here’s the best parts. One: Reggie knows what’s up. He’s got his finger right on the pulse of what’s really going on out there. The simple fact that he was one of the few IASC heads to even express reservations about that whole “Under Fire” fiasco (I recall the concern being that, kids would definitely get their hands on it, and rebel like hell against it… which, lo and behold, is exactly what happened…) tells me that he has the insight, and the balls, to effectively take on the IASC Leadership on important issues…and, even more vitally, he’s got the uncanny ability to actually be correct in his assessments and judgements. That kind of shit, is invaluable. Another thing that uniquely qualifies Reggie for the job would be that, as a skateboard distributor… he works with, and implicitly supports, almost every single skateboard manufacturer out there… big, or small, Reggie supports them all. And, he obviously deals with a lot of skate shops as well (again, both big and small) during the course if his day-to-day job. That would also be a singularly important asset, given the problems that we’re experiencing in the retail sector these days…

The big question is: Would Reggie ever take the job…? I’d hope that, if IASC tossed enough cash his way, and granted some very, very key concessions… I’d hope that he’d at least consider it. If I were IASC, I’d give Reggie whatever the fuck it took, to convince him to take the job. Point blank. Anything less, would just be kinda stupid.

I’d also consider Johnny Schillereff (of Element) for the job, just due to his low-key, mellow, fair-minded, quiet, and inquisitive nature. These sorts of traits are important, guys. Let’s give someone the job, that has these traits. Please…

5. Get Rid of the Non-Skate Companies in IASC

I still don’t understand… and, I doubt that I will ever understand… why companies such as Activision, Davis Law Associates, FedEx, Moss Adams, Merrill Lynch, etc, etc, etc… are part of an International Association Of Skateboard Companies. Are these all skateboard companies…? Have I been missing something, here…?

At the very least, IASC has a public responsibility to be transparent, and to clarify what the fuck these guys are doing as members of IASC. Credibility is on the line,here. There is a big, big difference between providing valuable insights and services to IASC member companies (which is what they’re largely doing), versus actually steering the future of our sport, our lifestyle, and our pastime (which is what the public thinks they’re largely doing). As such, I’d change the “Premium Members” group to “Sustaining Members”… and likewise, I’d merge the current “Associate Members” and “Lifestyle Members”, to a newly-defined “Supporting Members”. “Sustaining”and “Supporting”, after all, are very self-explanatory and fairly transparent terms. “Premium”, “Associate”, and “Lifestyle”, are not.

6. Make a point of calling me, Bud Stratford, a “Pud-Munching Ass Face” at least once between now, and April 14th, 2012.

I’m still a little worried about IASC’s ability to execute, so I figured I’d toss this “initiative” in there as a safe, simple, and easy-to-accomplish “gimme”. As well as providing a quirky, mid-essay laughing break before we barge on to the really good stuff. Of course: I’m sure that a few of those IASC Heads are already way, waaaayyy ahead of the curve on this one. And, good on them for doing so! Moving on….